Motherhood can be beautiful, but let’s be honest, it’s also incredibly hard. Motherhood has a way of shining a light on our deepest fears and insecurities. We can be surrounded by love and laughter, trying our best every single day, but often in the quiet moments – after the tantrums, the dishes, the laundry, the never-ending to-do lists – there comes this voice in the back of our minds whispering, “You’re failing.”

Maybe it’s the comparison game we fall into after scrolling through social media, where every other mum seems to have tidy houses, well-dressed (and well-behaved!) children, and calm smiles. Maybe it’s the constant stream of advice (some helpful, some not, but usually unsolicited!) that leaves us feeling like we’re never quite doing things the “right” way. Or maybe it’s simply the exhaustion – when you’re tired and overwhelmed, it’s easy to believe the thoughts that start slowly creeping into our minds; the lies we tell ourselves as mums. And before long, these lies start to shape not just how we see ourselves, but also how we parent and interact with our families.

But here’s the truth: those thoughts don’t define you. They are not facts - they are lies. And the only way to break their hold is to name them for what they are, and then replace them with truth. So today, I’m going to name some of the most common lies we tell ourselves as mums, and reject them with reminders of what’s real and true instead!

Lie #1: “I’m not good enough” or “I’m a failure as a mum.”

Confession time: I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve said this, not just to myself but to my husband and to my own mum. Bonus confession: there are still plenty of times where I struggle to replace this with truth in my mind, especially when I’m exhausted or having a bad mental health day. But I’ll tell you what my loved ones have told me: you are exactly the mum that your kids need – that’s why they were given to you, because you are the perfect mum for them. We all have days where we raise our voices, let the kids have way too much screen time, or forget to pack something they wanted/needed. But one hard day doesn’t undo the love you show daily, and you do show up – every single day, tired, messy, imperfect. Remember, your kids don’t need perfection; they need you, their perfect mum, eye bags, mum-bun and all.

Lie #2: “Everyone else is doing better than me.”

To paraphrase a famous quote: “Comparison is a thief of joy”, and social media is its favourite weapon – there’s a reason it’s called doom-scrolling, after all! As hard as it is in the moment, we must remind ourselves that most of what you see online is carefully curated, and far from the full story. Every mum has struggles hidden behind closed doors. You are not falling behind, you are not worse off than anyone else, you are just living your own unique motherhood story.

Lie #3: “I should be grateful” or “I should enjoy every moment.”

Like I said right at the start of this post, motherhood is beautiful, but it’s incredibly hard and overwhelming. You’re allowed to admit that! Feeling frustrated, resentful, sad, or angry doesn’t mean you don’t love your children or that you’re a bad mum; it means you’re human! You won’t enjoy changing endless nappies or dealing with meltdowns at the shops. You definitely won’t like sleepless nights or catching the plethora of germs and viruses that they bring home from childcare or school. Again, that’s okay! You can love your children deeply and be grateful for them while still disliking parts of motherhood and finding them draining. In fact, if anyone tells you that motherhood is a dream or perfect, they’re lying!

Lie #4: “My worth depends on what I do.”

Your worth is unchanging. The fact is, there will always be more to do. A mum’s to-do list is endless: grocery shopping, laundry, dishes, school pick up and drop off, work, kids’ homework, cooking, etc. But your children don’t care about your endless to-do lists. They’ll remember the time you spent with them, the stories you read, the giggles you shared, the love they felt. Whether you tick off everything on your list or barely make it through, mama, you are already worthy, and you are doing more than enough.

Lie #5: “I am alone in this. Nobody understands how I feel.”

This might be the loudest lie of all. The truth? You are NEVER alone. Not only are there countless mums walking the same messy path, but if you are a person of faith, you can also lean on the reminder that God walks with you, strengthening you when you feel weak. And at the very least, you have me. This is the whole reason behind why I started my writing venture: to help other mums feel seen and less alone. This is why I promise to be vulnerable, honest, and real, and to write about the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly – because if I can help even just ONE other mum feel seen, it’ll make everything worth it.

Motherhood is full of noise – from the world, from others, and from our own minds! And maybe we can’t always silence the lies in our heads, but mama, don’t let those lies get the final word. You are not failing. You are not alone. And most of all, you are more than enough.

So the next time those lies start to creep in, I want you to pause. Take a deep breath. Then remind yourself of the truths: you are a good mum, your children love you and you mean the world to them, and you are doing far better than you think.