When Life Rewrites Your Story
If you missed the announcement on my Instagram page last night, then I highly encourage you to check it out here before you keep reading. But if that’s too much back and forth for your liking, then I’ll save you the hassle: last night, I announced my very first book ‘From One Heart To Another: Poetry By A Grieving Mother’, which will be published/released on 11th December 2025, what should have been Dorian’s 2nd birthday. 🧡
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a dream: to write a book and become a published author. My love for books began when I was 1-2 years old, if my mum is to be believed! My love for writing began when I was about 7 years old. I wrote my first rhyming poem, and I was hooked! By 10 years old, I had journals full of poems and short stories, and I’d even started my first attempt at a proper book. My dream was always at the forefront, and my goal was to do it by age 16. My parents were always very supportive, and dad was even trying to line up publishers for me to talk to (proud dad moment), but life got in the way…
My dream changed from “16” to “18” to “21”, and eventually I just settled for “one day”. But honestly, with work, then marriage, and then kids? There was no time to even think about my dream, so it lay deep in the recesses of my mind, all but forgotten. I still wrote – newsletters for work, captions for social media, blog posts for my cake business. But I didn’t write any poetry, anything that was truly inspired, or anything that was really me for probably close to a decade.
After Dorian passed away, I was trying to figure out what to say at his memorial. I sat down and wrote three poems in one day, one of which I did end up reading. And in the following weeks, as I struggled to accept the harsh reality that Dorian was never coming back, I felt God prompting me, “Write a poetry book on your grief.” And so I did.
I started pouring my grief into poetry, writing through pain, tears, and heartbreak. It was therapeutic in some ways; in others, it was just a black and white reminder of what I’d lost. But I kept going with the book, and meanwhile, God kept me going. Whenever I was stuck, He gave me inspiration, whenever I needed help, he led me to the right person; I can’t tell you how many doors He opened for me even without me having to ask.
And now, my “one day” has come. Although it won’t be official until December, I have finally achieved my dream: I’ve written a book and become a published author. But if you had asked me when I was a child, or even 2 years ago, if this is what my dream would have looked like, the answer would be so far from it.
Dreams rarely turn out the way you want or expect them to. Life gets in the way and rewrites your story. Sometimes, it takes you longer than you thought to accomplish your dream. Sometimes, you have to take a different route or go off-road and make your own path to get there. Sometimes, there’s pain and trauma along the way. And sometimes, like in my case, it’s all of the above.
It's a proud and bittersweet moment for me in publishing my book. While it realises a childhood dream, it’s come from a dear price – and I would gladly give up this dream without question if I meant that I could have my precious boy back again. But life isn’t a fairytale with a happy ending, and so I accept that this is the way my dream has come to pass.
“To all who mourn…He will give a crown of beauty instead of ashes” - Isaiah 61:3
‘From One Heart To Another’ is a huge achievement and I’m so incredibly proud of what I’ve accomplished despite my grief. I’ve trusted God, and turned my pain into purpose. And now, I can only pray that my book will find the people who need it – mothers who have lost their child(ren), people who are grieving, or even people who are trying to support someone in their grief and wanting to learn more about grief.
If my grief can help even just ONE person through this book, then that will be some of my beauty from the ashes.
