Last week, I was invited to do an Instagram Live with my beautiful friend, Renee, to chat about my experiences with grief, mental health, and self-care (if you missed it, you can watch it here). One of the things I talked about was being intentional with my self-care (something I’ve previously written about here), and one of the ways I do that is by taking 30 minutes to myself every morning to start my day with devotion and journalling. So today, I wanted to talk a bit more about journalling and how it’s helped my mental health.

Now, journalling is something new that I only started doing this year. Ironically, even though I am a writer, it had never appealed to me before, and if I’m being honest, whenever people suggested journalling as a good mindfulness or mental health tool, I was very sceptical. But, as I’ve said before, grief really changes you as a person, and trauma can actually alter your brain function. While I used to have an excellent memory and was able to multitask and organise my brain like a filing system, I was suddenly struggling to remember basic, everyday things. My mind felt cluttered and overwhelmed, and it was frustrating me that my brain didn’t seem to work like it used to. So as part of my healing process, I decided to just give journalling a go.

In my whirlwind of grief, faith, motherhood, and just life in general, I was surprised to find comfort, clarity, and healing in journalling. Sometimes the world feels far too loud, and sometimes, it’s far too silent. And when you’re grieving, or when your mental health is in a fragile state, the weight of all your emotions and unanswered questions is a lot to carry on your own. But there’s a quiet, sacred peace in journalling, where it can become somewhat like a faithful companion who listens without judgement and holds space for whatever you’re going through. It makes me feel like a schoolgirl going “Dear diary,” and pouring my heart out on pages – that’s essentially what journalling is!

However, if you’re a bit of a sceptic like I was, you’re probably wondering how exactly journalling can help. I can’t speak for everyone, but these are some of the ways it has helped me:

1. Journalling Provides A Space For My Feelings

I feel like when you’re a mum, you don’t really get the luxury of having a mental health breakdown. So often we’re told to be strong and to hold it together for the sake of our kids. Now, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that (so please don’t take it personally if you’ve said those things to me or to someone else), but we have to remember that pain needs its own space, and when we suppress it, it doesn’t go away, it just gets buried.

Journalling gives you permission to pour it all out. You don’t have to explain or justify your feelings; you can be as vulnerable, raw, and unfiltered as you want! Journalling gives you that space to just let all your feelings exist. Not only can that be therapeutic in itself, but writing it out can also help you keep track of your emotions so you can try and make sense of them, figure out patterns, and hopefully understand your triggers.

2. Journalling Reduces My Anxiety & Overwhelm

Like I said earlier, my grief and trauma really messed with my brain, and my once organised mind was now a chaotic mess. My mind just felt so crowded and noisy all the time, and quite often it would be racing with thoughts, fears, “what ifs”, flashbacks, etc. especially when it was quiet on the outside/around me. Journalling for me became like a mental declutter. I don’t understand why, but physically writing things down instead of just typing them out seemed to free up space in my mind! It felt like I was downloading my brain onto the paper, and it really helped to reduce not just the overwhelm, but also the anxiety that I would forget something or that I was losing my mind!

3. Journalling Helps Me Move Forward By Being Able To Look Back

If you’re journalling daily or consistently, over time, it creates a record. For me it’s proof of my healing journey; of how I’m trying to move forward with my grief. Grief isn’t linear, but with my journalling, I get to see my growth, my resilience and determination, and even the tiny sparks of hope that pop up from time to time. It’s a reminder of how far I’ve come, and as a woman of faith, it’s also a reminder of God’s promises and faithfulness. But more than that, it’s also a reminder of my love for Dorian, and fuels my desire to keep moving forward; to find purpose in my pain so that I can keep his memory alive and leave a legacy for him on this earth.

So today, if your mind is noisy, or your heart feels heavy, I want to encourage you to try journalling. Journalling may not take away the pain and problems in life, but it can hold them with you and give you space to breathe and to heal. And the best thing is, you don’t need to be a writer like me. You just need a notebook, a pen, and a willingness to be honest and vulnerable on paper. Then just start small; one word, then one line, one paragraph, and eventually your pen will just flow naturally, and you’ll be pouring your heart out and finding your healing; one tear-stained page at a time.